Personal boundaries are necessary to enjoy happy, healthy relationships, both with ourselves and others. Of course this isn’t new information, but setting and upholding boundaries can be pretty challenging for many people. Things like our self-image, our values, wanting to be helpful or polite all come into play.
We can experience a whole range of difficulty when setting boundaries. Saying no to the sales clerk can be simple. Saying no to your spouse or close friend might be do-able even if somewhat uncomfortable. Saying no to your parent, child or employer may seem downright impossible!
What comes to mind for you when reflecting on your own thoughts, comfort and ability around setting and maintaining boundaries?
Not setting boundaries often means experiences like: letting others define us; expecting others to fill our needs automatically; feeling bad or guilty when saying no; not speaking up when we are treated poorly can be the norm.
On the other hand, backing ourselves up in what is or isn’t okay tends to set us up for more of the following: improved self-confidence; stability and control over our lives; clear communication with others and fulfilling relationships.
Learning to set healthy boundaries is a skill that can be mastered with courage, support and practice. Go at your own pace. Be kind and compassionate. And remember that setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it is self-love in action.
Listen to the Spiritual Message – Part 1
Brene Brown video used in talk
Spiritual Message – Part 2
No Slides from the talk