When you’re in conflict do you want to fight, flee, or freeze?
Most of us were brought up to either ignore conflict or go in swinging; winning usually fit in there somewhere, too. As we grew older we may have learned ways to suppress or avoid conflict. Maybe even picked up a few tricks for managing others when they’re upset in order to reduce emotional intensity.
But ignoring or “managing” conflict tends to cause it to go underground, which doesn’t help anybody. And truthfully, as uncomfortable as conflict is it’s also unavoidable…even necessary! So why not put our time and energy into embracing it and using it to learn, grow and understand each other better?
Margaret Heffernan says that good relationships aren’t built on people constantly agreeing with each other. In fact, she says great research teams, relationships, and businesses allow people to deeply disagree. But “the truth won’t set us free” until we develop the skills, the habit, the talent and the moral courage to use it.
What if conflict were a secret ally? What if it’s a guidepost, showing us what really matters to us and how much we care? What if our intense emotions are sources of energy with the power to build the world we want, together?
Listen to the Spiritual Message Part 1
Video used in Spiritual Message
Listen to the Spiritual Message Part 2
If you enjoy the Sunday talks online, please consider offering a donation.